Improvements Made
I have made some improvements from the given feedback from the anonymous on Survey Monkey. Some of the improvements however I could not change due to either budget or the time given. A couple of people had said for the title and casting section the paper looked too plain and rushed. One person even suggested making the paper look a bit dull and dreary to match the time period, therefore I had remembered that using tea and crumpled paper I may be able to achieve this target. However, I hadn't done this technique in years and so had Youtubed different ways of making this work. The video below is the one that I am going to use.
I will be using the oven technique as I like the small indentations and darker spots, also the darker saturated colour around the edges makes it more realistic. I will add my own video on shortly of how I decided to create the look. I am going to use a5 white paper though, due to my title sequence being in a smaller proportion.
This is my own video:
HOW TO MAKE OLD FASHIONED PAPER from Charlotte Beach on Vimeo.
I created this video on how to age paper, I didn't use coffee as I did not want a look that is far too strong, I wanted a natural yet rustic feel to the paper.
1. Firstly, I cut my paper in half for the size I needed, fetched four tea bags, turn on the oven and boiled the kettle.
2. Pour the hot water into a glass jug or bowl, making sure not too add too much water as you want the water rather strong, you can add more tea bags if needed.
3. Make sure the water is not too hot so leave it to cool for 5-10 or you can just put it in the fridge if in a rush like I did.
4. Grab a bowl and pour the contents of the jug into it. Completely soak the paper on both sides.
5. When the paper is soaked you can leave to soak for five minutes for a stronger look but I wanted a more subtle look. Now put the paper on a baking tray and put in the oven.
6. How long you leave it in the oven determines how dark, rustic and crumpled you want it. I tended to leave each tray in for between 3 to 5 minutes.
7. Bring out of the oven, using oven mitts and ta da!
Below is how mine turned out. Perfect.
THE FINAL TITLE SEQUENCE DEMO from Charlotte Beach on Vimeo.
More Drinking Scenes
Other improvement ideas from the survey included: more drinking scenes to show that the femme fatale was at a loss of control and that the drink should be darker in colour to look like it was whiskey, a well known drink then. Therefore for the final I have added in another scene of drinking before the femme fatale removes her gloves to show she just wants to down a drink and forget things, especially what she has done. I could not add any other shots of her drinking in because the film can only be 2.5 minutes long. However, I believe this may be enough including the voice over I have created.
The drink itself was water originally however someone on my survey suggested to make it a better replica to have a darker looking mixture in the decanter. Therefore I had decided to add green tea bags in to make I look darker in colour, similar to that of whiskey. Some people suggested I also buy some bottles/decanters that were old fashioned and with labels to make the mise-en-scene more realistic, however upon searching for these, they became very expensive due to them being under antiques now. This did not fit my budget.
Adding Enigma
I feel that there wasn't any enigma or storyline to the first drafted production as I hadn't time to add in the anti-hero scenes. However, knowing this I have worked on some scenes with my anti-hero cast. The scene is underneath a street lamp outdoors with him smoking and smiling at the camera, almost as though the femme fatale was filming it. In the last scene of him he pushes the camera away playfully showing that they had a good relationship. This will be shown as a flashback of her life with him.
I will add this scene into the video by an over the shoulder shot as I did with the title sequence before hand, the femme fatale will be looking through her polaroids and stumble upon a photograph of him, this will zoom into the video and the audience will be able to recognise who he is. I may even add a scene of her ripping up the photograph of him in the ending showing her aggressiveness.
Sound
I agree that sound is something that I need to add more to, and so I have written a script that can be added over the dreary jazz music being played. The script can be seen on another blog post. This will add background to the storyline and the audience will be able to understand the characters a bit more, adding enigma and a relationship between the femme fatale and anti-hero. I also may add a couple of foley sounds in too but only quietly such as the gulping and pouring of the drinks and the shy laugh of the anti-hero pushing the camera away from him.
Crime
One person revealed that they felt it was not noir enough due to the lack of weapons or crime scenes, therefore as the femme fatale is murdering the anti-hero I am going to add a short scene at the end of the gun aimed at the anti-hero, adding a crime sense. However, I didn't want too much crime aspects due to the femme fatale trying to think straight and be feminine. But, I did feel it needed a small aspect and therefore it will be added without the music at the end and a short quote from the script I had adjusted myself. This will add enigma and a shocking cliffhanger for the audience.
Visual
Another person mentioned that they felt due to the film period the production should have a slight grainy affect to the visual element. Therefore I am going to play around with iMovie and Movie Maker for a short grainy effect.
